What is FSA??

Families Supporting Adoption is an organization sponsored by LDS Family Services which advocates a positive view of adoption and provides support to birth parents, adoptive families and all friends of adoption.


Sunday, December 16, 2012

Adoption Placement Story Feature!

            **I am excited for us to be starting this series of stories of placement from the perspective of the Adoptive parents!  I know there are many of you that either are just beginning your adoption journey, thinking about it, are already on the road, have adopted, or are in the process of doing it again.  I know that when we were thinking about getting on this road I wanted to hear as many STORIES as I could to know what to expect!  I hope these help you as much as they did for me! 

I want you to meet Amber!  We met recently thru the Mesa FSA Group on Facebook! BTW this is an awesome way to connect with so many others that you don't know that have been there or are there!  You might be surprised to see they already know some of your peeps as I was with Amber! Peeps I didn't know because of adoption or church!  Her story of how her husband Trey and her adopted is amazing to say the least...They also have an Open Adoption!  Thank you soooo much for being the first one to be featured and help others!**               

Derrick's Adoption Story:

What Led Us to Adoption

It is no secret that we have struggled with infertility. We started "trying" right away....and althoughTrey and I have looked into adoption multiple times over the years, we never followed through. We would start the process but would then stop...with the feeling that it wasn't the right time. There came a point last summer when we both decided that we were going to do this! We were ready, and we felt strongly that the timing was now. We went to orientation through LDS social services in June of 2011 and were almost scared off again. I can't even believe we were nervous about 'open adoption' I think it was pretty much the 'unknown' that was the scariest. Looking back, I know that Satan  was trying to lead us away from what would bring us the MOST happiness and joy. Fear is a horrible thing and facing our fear has brought us the greatest joy of our lives. I am so glad we continued to move forward. In the fall we attended a FSA Conference that brought so much peace to us. Our hearts and minds were opened to the BEAUTY of adoption. We gained an education about what adoption really is like from those who have been blessed to experience it :) And from that moment on, we couldn't wait to get our profile up. We had been in the process of getting certified for a couple months, and it seemed to take FOREVER (through the holiday's). Our profile FINALLY went up on January 3rd, 2012. We were thrilled and oh my goodness I would check my e-mail ALL day long. Hoping for a contact!!

Our Birthmom

After a few weeks of nothing, I realized that it was a little silly to be so consumed with the idea of being contacted, knowing that it could take months or years to be connected. But little did we know on February 27th that we would receive an e-mail from Candace!

My phone alerted me of the e-mail and I went to check, it said COUPLE CONTACT in the line and I opened it and started crying! Trey and I read together about Candace. We felt a connection and love for her from that moment. We e-mailed back and forth for a few weeks and then it finally progressed to texting and phone calls to meeting in person on April 28th!

Meeting In Person
After Church on Sunday 

Candace and her family are wonderful!! Our connection was instant and meeting in person only confirmed us that this is RIGHT <3! Trey & I stayed with her and her parents. We spent a lot of time talking. We laughed a lot. We went to a Rangers Game, Church, and after family dinner on Sunday we had the most amazing experience of my life. Candace's dad gave us all a father's council and it turned into a beautiful testimony meeting. The spirit brought tears to us all, and I know that the Lord is mindful of us all.

Outside Candace's good friends house the Murray's

Our First Picture Together

Feeling Derrick Move with the Hiccups

 I wish I could tell you how incredible this experience has been for me. I have felt God's love for me, Trey, Candace, and Derrick SO much. I honestly feel Lucky to have gone through this. I am blessed to be connected to Candace forever. I love her so much. She is a sister to me, &I don't know if I can ever tell her how she blesses my life.  See, there was a plan for me to be a mom, I just didn't know how lucky I would be to become a momma through Candace. And even though it took 8 years of waiting, it doesn't even matter anymore.

This girl is my friend, sister, and hero
 Let me tell you a little bit about Candace.

Trey and I with our Angel


First I love her and respect her so much. After the first contact I prayed about her and knew that she was a special girl. I am grateful for the power of prayer, for the gift of the Holy Ghost that testifies truths, and confirms peace to my heart.

At the Rangers Game
       Candace has amazing qualities; she is easy to talk to, funny, outgoing, athletic, spiritual, beautiful and kind. She has courage and strength that amazes me. She is positive and happy. It honestly has been a miracle and a gift for me to be included in her life. I look forward to seeing what her future holds, I know she will accomplish amazing things.

She has shown me a kind of love that I didn't know existed. She loves her son so much that she sacrificed her own feelings to do what she felt was best for him. 

I am honored that God brought us together.

Derrick's Birthday 

Derrick was due on May 31st. Candace had an awesome doctor who was going to induce her on Monday May 28th (Memorial Day) so that her sister's could fly into town, and so that Trey and I could plan.

Well, little mister had a different idea....Candace started having contractions on Friday, May 18th that continued through the 19th. She went into the hospital that day and they sent her home because she was only dialated to a 1.5 However, contractions never stopped.

Candace's mom sent me a 'HeyTell' Message to let me know what was going on, and we were debating if we should come out or not....just in case it was false labor.Trey and I were both a little shocked/freaking out!! We were so excited that we packed that night just to be safe. 

Found out she was at a 7

On Sunday morning the 20th she was still having contractions and we decided to just get in the car and start driving. (It was a 15.5 hour drive from our house to hers). Not long after we hit the road, Candace went back to the hospital and this time she was admitted. He was coming!! By the time we reached Tucson, we got the call that she was dialated to a 7! We had just stopped for lunch, and gas. I began crying at the gas station, I couldn't hold in my emmotions, I knew I was going to be a mommy and was FINALLY going to meet my son! Somewhere between New Mexico and Texas I got my first Picture of Derrick.

Our FIRST picture of Derrick

Oh we just stared at his little face and body,I cried and cried. HE WAS PERFECT, he was SOO HANDSOME! I knew he would be :) I never imagined that he would be that cute though...Luckily between Candace's awesome mom and sister, the pictures kept coming. I couldn't get enough!!! That drive felt like the longest of my LIFE! We finally arrived at our destination around 3am. We went to sleep for a couple hours, got up and went straight to the hospital to meet Derrick.

Our First Meeting

Trey and I have never been so EXCITED in our lives! We were so excited to meet Derrick and to see Candace again! We arrived at the hospital, signed in, and took the elevator to the 3rd floor. I remember looking for the wreath on the door that Candace's mom had made. We saw it and went in. Candace was on the bed holding Derrick and her mom was on the couch. We went over to Candace and we were all just smiling and looking at him. Then she asked me if I wanted to hold my son.

The highlight of my life was in these words and next few moments. I held him and immediately got emmotional. All I could do was stare at him but I felt the strongest urge to hug my angel Candace. I love her SO much. I sat with her on the bed and we stared together in amazement. Trey held him next and seeing him hold his son was the most amazing experience. A dream come true and a moment in time I will never forget. We spent hours at the hospital over the next 2 days. We finally met Derrick's birthdad!! We were so HAPPY to meet him and get to know him better! Let me tell you a little about him. Oscar may seem shy at first, but he is not! He has a fun, outgoing, lighthearted personality. He is kind, sarcastic and a good looking guy! He honestly wants what is best for Derrick and has been supportive of Derrick's adoption.

Our Texas Stay

Candace was released from the Hospital on Wednesday. It was a bittersweet day. We were all emmotional. Candace, Oscar, Diana, Trey and I were all there when she was discharged. Candace came in the car with us to the house we stayed at (her grandparent's house). We all came inside and talked for a little bit, we had a few gifts to give, and then they said "goodbye". I don't know how to explain the feeling, but it was hard for me when she left. I had been looking forward to the moment when Trey and I could be with him, but I didn't want Candace to go.

Our first moments together as a family were surreal. I will never forget the feeling in the room with Trey, Derrick and I. The spirit was there, and we were very emmotional. I won't go into details, but we cried a lot. We knelt down to pray gratitude to God for this miracle.

Because of ICWA and ICPC, we stayed in Texas for 2 1/2 weeks. Honestly looking back those days were treasured and one of a kind. We spent a lot of time together with Derrick. Trey and I were welcomed into parenthood on what felt like a beatiful dream get away. We also spent a lot of time with Candace, her family, and Oscar and his family.

Saying goodbye was really hard! We were anxious to have our fami
lies in AZ meet him, but sad to leave all our TX family.


If you would like to follow Amber's blog:  http://throughlovewegrow.blogspot.com/

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